


Oh No!

by Zorak23



Series: Pranking the Ultimate Prankster [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Facebook: The Fairest of the Rare, Fairest of the Rare's Love Fest 2021, Fluff, Hair Loss, LF2021, Love Fest 2021, Male-Pattern Baldness, TeamCass, TeamSteve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29563425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorak23/pseuds/Zorak23
Summary: Someone has pranked the ultimate prankster.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin
Series: Pranking the Ultimate Prankster [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2172147
Comments: 26
Kudos: 38
Collections: Love Fest 2021





	Oh No!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DrewMarigold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrewMarigold/gifts).



> This was written for DrewMarigold and The Fairest of The Rare’s Love Fest 2021. #TeamCass #TeamSteve
> 
> Prompt: “I didn’t do it.”
> 
> “Then why are you laughing?”
> 
> “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”
> 
> As always, Black Lives Matter and trans rights are human rights.

Hermione raced to the bathroom in number twelve, Grimmauld Place as fast as she possibly could. The high-pitched scream of sheer terror emanating from within had chilled her to the very soul; she had no idea what to expect, but she planned to meet the threat head-on, wand drawn, and ready to fight to the death. 

Throwing open the door, she could only stare in shock at the sight. Sirius Black was standing in front of the mirror, face pale, barely breathing, a hair brush clutched in his hand. Long strands of wavy black hair were clinging to the brush—many, many strands of hair. So many, in fact, that Hermione glanced up at Sirius’ hairline in the mirror. It seemed, thinner, perhaps? And possibly set further back on his scalp that it had the day before?

Sirius turned to see her, and his eyes filled with tears. “My  _ hair!”  _ he wailed, breaking into sobs. “My beautiful hair!”

“It’s, er, it’s not that bad…” Hermione started to say, but was cut off when Sirius angrily ran the brush through what was left of his long locks. His hair had started falling out in clumps, now—but only in the front. By the time he’d passed the brush thrice over his scalp, the distinctive hairline of advanced male-pattern baldness was quite visible. Hermione tried to hold back a snort of laughter, but the resemblance to Hogwarts’ caretaker, Argus Filch, was uncanny. 

Just then, Remus appeared in the doorway. Sirius met his eyes, unable to speak more than making inarticulate noises, and shook the hair-filled brush in his best mate’s direction. Remus guffawed. Loudly. 

Hermione whirled around and shoved him out of the bathroom before Sirius could explode, slamming the door behind them. 

“Remus!” she hissed angrily. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do it!” he insisted, barely able to breathe through his tears of laughter. 

“Then why are you laughing?” Hermione demanded. 

“Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”


End file.
